It's like a secret club that nobody ever wanted to be in..ever.

Ever since we won the adoption giveaway I mentioned in the last post, I've been fortunate enough to connect with various women who have experienced some form of loss/infertility/etc, and it has done a number on my heart.

It's bittersweet, really. I would never wish for any person to experience infant loss or infertility or anything of the sort..but goodness, to be able to find and level with one another is really an incredible thing. I hate that it reminds me that there is this whole army of women out there walking around just like me..affected by the pregnant women we pass in the grocery store, affected by the baby clothes section of department stores, affected by the mothers we pass loading their babies into their cars, the diaper aisle, the sound of any crying baby anywhere...the list goes on and on and on.

Would anyone look at me and know that I am one of them? I wish there was a way we could easily spot each other, whatever the circumstances--so I could walk along side them and hug them and stomp my feet with them and tell them that I understand. We've all stepped into (been thrown into?) this world of grief and mourning and it's so not okay to feel alone in it. It's so not okay that it happens in the first place.

So this is to all of you who know what it's like to feel so very alone in a world where you are suddenly and uncontrollably hyper aware of every single baby bump you pass....every child in a stroller...and every car seat in the cars around you.

My heart is with you. God sees you. You are not alone.