Homemade Coconut Oil & Baking Soda Toothpaste

I'm browsing the store aisle when a woman walks up to me and asks me how I'm doing. I respond and then look down to notice the stack of flyers in her hand.

Kind lady:  "Have you heard of _______ cabel company? We're doing a special right now and I'm handing out flyers for it."
Me:  "Oh! No, I haven't...but we don't need it right now."
Kind lady:  "Oh, okay! Just out of curiosity, who do you use?"
Me: "Welllllllllll, nobody, actually. We don't really have a TV."
Kind lady:   (confused) "Wait......so.....how do you watch TV?"
Me: ....................we don't.
Kind lady:  (really confused) Ummmm. Hmm. So do you just watch stuff like on the internet?
Me:  ..............we don't have internet. I mean, we do watch some stuff on our phones, I guess, but we really don't watch much at all.
Kind lady: So........what do you do!?
Me:  (laughing) Well, my husband and I.....talk...and go outside...and hang out with friends...and cook..and tons of other stuff?
Kind lady:  Wow! Well, okay! Have a good day, then.

As I laughed and walked away, I remembered that I was in the store searching for the rest of the ingredients I needed to finish my homemade toothpaste.

Annnnnd just like that....we are that family.

No regrets, people. No regrets.

On to the goods: I made coconut oil toothpaste today NOT because we are major freaks of nature but rather that we have been on the coconut oil bandwagon for a long time now and Chris started using just plain coconut oil on his teeth after suffering multiple mouth sores that would get inflamed by "normal" toothpastes. (Due to the Sodium Lauryl Sulfate found in almost every toothpaste.)

To be honest, I've never had a mouth sore or canker sore in my life, but I DO recognize the inconvenience that it is since I frequently see how frustrating and painful it is when Chris gets them. I had been looking up recipes because I wanted to make him something that he could pump out of a soap dispenser, and I wanted to add some fun ingredients to make it feel more toothpastey for him.

*Here's what you need:

1 Soap or Lotion Dispenser OR any little container with a lid (This soap dispenser has a ceramic base and I got it for $1.88, but you can recycle one you've already used as well.)
1 cup of Coconut Oil
1 tablespoon of Peppermint Extract (Or mint, or lemon, or whatever you want!)
1 tablespoon of Baking Soda
2 tablespoons of Water
(OPTIONAL) A couple of drops of liquid stevia extract or stevia powder for taste. (We did NOT use this, simply because Chris could live the rest of his life without another taste of sugar and be totally fine because he's ridiculous. But what about me!? I'm okay with the non-sweet because clearly I'm super selfless.**)

*This recipe obviously yields a little more than a cup of toothpaste. You can multiple as you like for larger batches! This one filled my little soap dispenser about a third of the way up.

-Throw all of the ingredients, in any order, into a bowl...and mix them with a hand mixer. That's it!
-The consistency is a lot like toothpaste, but the consistency of the coconut oil WILL change based on the temperature it is stored in.
-If your coconut oil solidifies, just run it under warm water until it softens. Because we tend to brush our teeth after our shower, the heat from the shower usually warms the bathroom enough to soften it...and ours stays soft all day.
-I fancied up our soap dispenser because why not, and also because we don't want our guests accidentally washing their hands with toothpaste.
-To get the mixture into a container with a small opening, use a funnel OR place the mixture into a ziploc, cut the corner (like you would with frosting) and squeeze it in. A bit messier, but worked fine for me.
I'm off to go stare at the wall, because apparently if you don't have cable or internet that's all there is to do.